In My Dream (Eng)

“Nathan…” Someone girl embraced my waist. Her head lies on my back. I turned back my head and found she had been embracing me. She smiled and stared at me. Her eyes were shining when I replied her smile. She laid her head on my chest. I hugged her tightly. Very tight…

This is what I wanted and really missed. Could I hope we’ll forever like this ??


Again and again you said the same thing. The same thing when you come to me, my love. I felt my cheek began to wet. Am I crying now? Yes… I was crying again. Cause, honestly, I knew what the ending of this…

My eyes opened and my head felt really dizzy. I woke up… I woke up again from my nice dream and also hurt. Dream that I’m dreaming of every night. And dream that make my pillow becomes wet because of my tears every morning.

You, Carine… My love. . You always come to my dream. Make me smile and cry in the same time. I always remember, how afraid I am if my dream show off just once. Because when I wake up, I’ll find the morning come and you don’t beside me.. you’ve gone from my side..

You know? I always hope so that I can sleep forever like this. So that I can meet you and we can’t separate again. But, this is real.. You’ve gone, left me here. And you never come back. Back to my side… Because I live in my life. And you just live in my dream… Not in my life…

I can’t touch you when I wake up. I can’t hug you when the morning come.. Although I’m really missing you. Missing your sweet smile and your soft voice. But, you never there when I open my eyes.

I knew this is my wrong. I made all of this. If that time I didn’t leave you, you definite still here. Be my friend when I sleep… Welcome me with your sweet smile when I wake up.

“Ryan.. Will be better if we tell Nathan about it ?” I heard Rey was got a conversation with Ryan and Dennis. They brought my name in their discussion and made me want to know what they talking about. But, I’m not stalker, right ? it will be better if I go from there than hear their privacy. Moreover, they have a right to talk anything about me.

“I think it’s not good idea. Do you want to see Nathan and Carine quarrel one another ?” Now I heard Dennis was speaking. He brought my wife’s name.. Carine…

“Yes.. I really know. But, however Nathan must know about a relationship between Carine and Daniel. Maybe with this step, Daniel can stop to chase Carine. Cause as along as, just we who know about this matter.”


“Nathan..” Ryan looked at me afraidly and followed by Dennis and Rey. Ah, whatever is that I don’t care. I must know about this directly from their lips… Cause my heart was hurt now…

“Nathan.. Please hear me. I can explain all,” She held my hand trembly. Her tears flowed down swiftly and small mist came out from her mouth. It indicated that she felt cold now. I really wanted to embrace her tightly and erase her tears with my thumbs. But, I’ve disappointed. She was lying to me during this time. And I found she was embracing another person. Person that I’ve think as my brother.

“Don’t say anything. It’s not necessary. All have clear..”

I pulled my hand roughly. You looked so surprised with my measure that changed unexpectedly. Especially with me. My heart was really hurt when I found the obvious things in front of me. You had been walk on relationship behind me even before we got married. And that person is Daniel. You even lie to me this morning just for meet with him. You’re wicked, Carine!!

“Nathan…” Indistinctly, I heard a soft voice and mixed by a moan sound behind me. She fell down when trying to chase me. But… I didn’t help her. Instead, I left her. I’m so sorry, Carine. I’ve disappointed. And you’ll never know what the feeling of betrayal like this.



What is the sound?

I turned my head back and found my wife flounder on the street and bleeding.

God, is it real?? What is I see? WHY??

“Carine.. Carine..”

I ran towards her and laid her head on my lap. My tears fell down and follow to soaking her beautiful face. It is a dream, isn’t it ? you definite pretend like this, so that I’ll forgive you, right ?

LOTUS International Hospital
March 24th, 2011

“Nathan.. I’m really sorry. It is my wrong. I forced Emma as the reason, so that Carine will meet with me. She don’t know anything. And.. About our closeness, I forced her to have a relationship behind you. Because that time I need someone to accompany me when I took a decision to leave this office.

“Trust me, she doesn’t want to treason you. Nathan, you must believe it. Please forgive her. She really loves you. Very much,”said Daniel while hold on Nathan’s shoulder who just sat on the floor since a while ago.

He –Daniel-didn’t have the heart to see Nathan like this. Nathan could saw anything, but his eyes were blank. Sometimes he came his tears out and it flowed on his cheek. He-Daniel – regretted the stupid thing that have been done by him. The thing that made the woman who he love and the man who loved by his woman get a pain one another. Immediately or not, he has made the woman who loved by him has an injured because an accident. But, nothing else he could do now. Except he asked his apology to man who loved by his woman, pray, and waited for his woman treatment.

He joined with the others. Several times later, the doctor came out with sad expression. He took his mask off and walked approaching them.

“I’m so sorry,” said the doctor. All in there were quiet for a while. Especially Nathan. He didn’t believe what the doctor said about. Yeah, he wouldn’t believe.

“Huh.. you’re lying !! My wife definite safe!! She will heal back like before!!” Suddenly, Nathan stood up and gripped the doctor’s cloth. Ryan and Dennis tried to extricate Nathan from the doctor. But, useless. Instead, Nathan hit the doctor. He set free his hand from the doctor when he saw the nurses came out from emergency room and pushed a bed that closed by white fabric.

Nathan walked forward. He opened the fabric that closed the face of someone who slept profoundly on there.

She… Carine.. someone who asleep on the bed, but wouldn’t wake up again. Because she has slept for forever. Yeah, FOREVER…

“HYAA!! Baby!! Are you fine? Huh, wake up!! You must give the doctor a proof that you’re fine,” Nathan shaken his wife’s body that has not alive again. The tears that could he held since a while ago, at least dripped down from his eyes. He didn’t believe. His wife has gone, left him so fast. He even didn’t say sorry yet because of this misunderstanding. His heart was hurts. Even more hurt. Because a half of his heart already gone with Carine.

“hey !! Do you hear me? Stop kidding me!! Wake Up!! You must make a cake for me. You’ve promised.. Don’t you remember it ? YAA!! Wake up!! Since when you became lazy like this ??” Nathan shaken Carine’s body more and more. But, no answer… and would never answer… Cause the woman who really loved by him, already gone from his side and left him for forever.

All people in there were quiet and many of them closed their eyes. Felt the Nathan’s feeling if they were left by the people who they love.

“Enough, Nathan… Carine has gone. Let she stay in calm,” Dennis came closed to Nathan, held his body so that he didn’t shake Carine’s body again. But Nathan refused and more shouted. Until Ryan and Rey came to help Dennis to hold Nathan’s body that keep on struggle.

“let me free !! She just sleeps!! She still alive !!”
The Last Places of People Who Will Stay In Paradise
March 21st, 2011

God? Am I dreaming? Please tell me that I’m dreaming now a bad thing now. This is not real, isn’t it ? She left me… Impossible.

I look forward… I knew my eyes were blank. But, I know what the peoples did outside. They assembled around the heap of soil. There was a stone written with Carine Renata. Carine? Carine??

She was my wife, wasn’t she ??

Why did she inter into the earth?? In fact, she just slept… hah? Maybe the people were crazy. So, they didn’t know what did they do. I will put she out from there if the people gone.

I walked approach the heap of soil when the stupid people gone… cihh… Carine? Did you think my Carine has gone? Crude the idiot people!!

I scrapped this soil that stick and wet gently. Weird… Why did my tears out continuously? and my heart.. My heart really hurt and sorrows… Really hurt…

“Baby.. baby..” I called her… But, whatsoever no answer. Huh… Crazy… now I’m gonna crazy. I wasn’t Renathan Hadinatha that they think smart and perfect. I just weak man who left by my half heart.. And all because me. I’m the man who caused she gone.

“Sorry.. really sorry..” I put my head on this heap of soil. I grip a bunch of soil with my hand.. All have useless anymore. My world have END..

“please..” I whispered swiftly. My tears flowed continually. Sometimes I bit my lips, hold the feeling of pain in my chest. Although I try to don’t believe.. Although I call her name for 1000 times. But, you won’t answer. Cause you have gone… Yeah, gone and left me here…


“Nathan..” I stretched my body slowly from my sleep when I knew someone embracing my waist from back and slept beside me. I turn back my body to know who is she..

“Morning..” A woman that I really missed has sat beside me and greeted me with her smile. Is it a dream? is it a dream that I’m dreaming of every night ?

“why you’re stunned ? do you dislike if I greet you like today ?” She puffed her cheek up. A usual thing she do if she being exasperated. Cute…

“Nathan..” Before she done her sentence, I pulled her body and hugged her tightly… It’s like a real… Or, maybe it’s a real?

“Do you sick ?” She detached my clasp then touches my forehead. Her face looks clearly, same expression if she worried with my health. Then, I grasped her hand which on my forehead, dropped her hand down and stared at her eyes. I embraced her again as tight as possible. So, I couldn’t let she go again.

“I miss you..” I whispered near her ear. It’s really a truth. She has came back to me. So, along time all of this just a dream. A bad dream that I’m dreaming of for long times. But… That’s dream even feels like real for me.

Hah.. Forget it… the important things is my love wouldn’t go from me like in my dream… And she would always beside me. And loving me.

“Miss you too…” She replied. I smiled to hear it. I liberated our hug and kissed her forehead. The ordinary thing I do to her every morning.

So, I’m not able to sleep alone again. Because you’re always in here. With me.
“Audience.. I will read the headline news that we announce suddenly because an incident happened. Economy world were shaken. Renathan Hadinatha, 25 years old, one of the young businessmen has passed away at 23.00 WIB. Some people guess he died because suicide himself with slices his vein off with a knife. He founded pass away on his bed. Following the spread rumors, he killed himself because he don’t formidable after his wife, Carine, 22 years old, passed away 4 months ago.”

–The End–

Disclaimer : this story is not mine. Original story made by Arrahyunhorvejkul ( April 7th, 2011 @ 6:25 pm) I just translate into my own language to explore my English experience.

Note : BAD GRAMMAR…BAD TENSES… I used a weird tenses and grammar. So, I don’t care if you’ll confuse after read this story. Ha-ha…

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